Who Left the Seat Up???

Why do I ask??? We all know it was not me!

Mr. J. Why do you mess with me? It must be for personal pleasure... But, I swear...

Let me back up and explain my pain...

The battle over whether the seat should be left up or down has been an ongoing WAR. This is an issue I will not let die.

I have long since given up on the toilet paper thing...
It is no longer so important to me if the paper falls over the top (as it should) or falls down the back of the roll... Or if it is inside out or upside down... I have even quit complaining about the empty roll you leave for me... Because you will now leave a full roll sitting on the counter within reach... (most of the time I can reach it without waddling to the other side of the room, with drippies running down my leg.) What more could I ask for?

Ummmm... Could you PLEASE... PLEASE... PLEASE... Be consistent on the toilet seat thing?
We have three bathrooms in our house. I am truly blessed. I never have to wait in line! All I am asking is would you please leave the seat down in the bath room off of the bedroom... You know the one... The very same bath room I painted bright pink, to scare you away! The bath room with the potpourri and candles. The bath room that has towels that you are not suppose to use. My little space (that screams of femininity)

In the middle of the night, I know it is silly for you to traipse down the hall in the dark. Feel free to potty in the Pink room! However, you will need to follow these simple rules...

"If you Miss,
When you Piss....
It'll be my Ass
You Have to Kiss."

(I am taking up poetry as a second income...)

Seriously... The seat has to be left down ... ALL the TIME! I have fallen into the toilet in the middle of the night for the last time!

And the one time you did put the seat down... Oh, that was bad!

You realize, I feel in the dark for the seat, and lower it before I sit down. In my sleep-walking stupor I stumbled into the wall, lowered what I thought was the seat, and proceeded to potty on the lid. I realized mid-stream (must have been the warm stream of pee I was sitting in, that ran down my legs and sat in a puddle at my feet) my mistake! For you Mr. J. had finally decided that you were tired of my whining and put the seat down for me. Gahhhhh!

The middle of the night is not the time to decide to do things my way! Please show me your new talents during the daytime hours... When I am almost focused.

I don't mind sharing my sanctuary with you... But, you need to put the seat down. Don't start with me... I know there are more important issues in life. Can I have my little corner... Where everything is exactly how it should be???

If you give me this, I will quit with the dirty socks in the middle of the floor nag.

For the record, I picked them up after the four day test... I know you knew I was a bit ticked about them... However you are much better than I at the game of "See Who Can Out Last The Other."

I would never make it in a torture chamber if they knew this weakness of mine... Place me in a room with a couple of empty pizza boxes, three half full cans of soda, toss a couple of dirty shirts in the corner, and leave the TV on. A man (aka my hubby) would sit down and watch TV... I would have to pick up the clutter first...

In Dear Mr. J's defense.... he is not a slob... (He just plays one in my world) just kidding... We just have different things that annoy the daylights out of us.

I will let ALL of the other issues slide (for now) if you leave my bathroom clean, toilet paper within reach, and the seat down!

Just try and leave the seat up in here! (Ya know if he reads this... I will forever be falling in the bowl at home.)

But... I will take my chances and ***FLUSH***