A FREE Window for Your Outhouse!!!

That is right... For a limited time... We will give you a free window for your outhouse! You will have to pay nothing! You can sit for hours, looking thru your very own window!

What exactly does FREE mean???

Our parents have taught us that nothing is free... Yet, I am bombarded with free offers at every corner ...

Buy a hamburger and order of fries ... and we will give you a free Coke! Ooooh goodie!!!!
One hamburger - $2.85
One order of fries - $1.45
One soda (yes, that is how we say it here.... SODA) - Free!!!
I have checked this out... The cost to restaurants for a soda breaks down like this... 1-cup $0.03, Syrup w/Carbonation (enough to fill a 32 ounce cup) $0.06.

So, for spending $4.30, you will give me... Absolutely free of charge... a 9 cent soft drink! Gosh almighty.... I am humbled by your generosity! Tell you what... Keep the soda... Give me a three cent cup of water... and deduct the six cents from my burger....

I told a young man working at a fast food establishment to do that... and he stared blankly at me...

Want to really mess with the youth of today? Go to McDonald's ... They will super-size any meal for a small fee... And tell them you would like a "Happy Meal" and Super Size it! I know I am awful... However, if the sign reads... We will super-size any meal... They need to honor it... A Happy Meal is a meal. (well, in principal)

Back to the free window on the outhouse... I received an email for a free "moving waterfall screen saver"! It looked pretty cool... and I wanted to try it out.

I downloaded the screen saver... and was told I needed to download the free yahoo tool bar... OK... I downloaded the tool bar... and was told I need to fill out an online survey... Ok... I filled out the survey and was told I needed to pick at least one offer from a list of promotional give-aways... ok????... Do you see a pattern???

I picked what I assumed to be the least obtrusive offer.... and read thru the list of required fields to fill out.

You know the basics.... Name, Date of Birth, Address, Email Address, Phone Number, Spouse's Name, Social Security Number... and permission for a Physician to stop by and take a blood sample and insert an ear tag for future monitoring of your whereabouts.

Gosh sakes... I wanted a screen saver! Not a new car...

If it is free... Do I need to give the names of co-signers?

We filled out one of the So-Called Freebie forms a while back... They were offering a free Shaq jersey... (can't pass on that right???)

For weeks, I was bombarded with sales calls for free credit cards... I asked a women. "If the card is free... Does that mean I do not have to pay your company, for any purchases I make with it?" Of course she said it does NOT mean that... I told her I have a credit card that already insists I pay then for my purchase... I don't need another.

I received a call from a life insurance company.... It went like this...
"Is this Mr. J?"
"No, this is Mrs. J."
"Well, Mr J. Wanted to purchase a life insurance policy from our company." (my mind begins to spin.... What have I done to have Mr J wanting to take out more insurance... Dinner was not that bad last night...)

I asked the rep... "Does he want to take out additional insurance on himself or for me? Cuz, if it is a policy for me... I need to know. Do I need to be nicer to my husband?"

The rep was so quiet, I thought he had hung up the phone....

He hesitated too long, and I hung up the phone!

One free jersey... (that, I should add, never arrived...) and all we had to pay... was the price of our privacy...

Our parents have taught us that Nothing worth having is free .... I suppose this includes a window on the outhouse.